It's been a bit since I've ranted like a crazy woman on the woe is me of GP. I've been conducting little studies shall we say on this new chapter in my life.
I have eaten out with my kids..
I've seen my psychiatrist
I have been to Barnes and Noble to look for books.
I have massive stock up grocery shopped.
I have eaten my favorite chicken salad from my grocery store, pizza, pork roast, cheese dip, a grilled hot dog, and banana pudding.
First things first, as it's the most frustrating part, I ate at Red Lobster with my kids two weeks ago. The kids and I went to Ms. I'm from there but live an hour away now. We had a good time seeing my new nephew, my Mama, and did some shopping. We were starving and they picked Red "Monster" in Southaven, Ms.We sat and we waited and waited. Finally got our drink order and I asked if I could order a child size portion of crab linguine. It's my favorite. I knew I'd only eat a wee bit and wasn't going home any time soon, so I didn't want to waste good food and money. They waitress looked very confused. I tried to explain my stomach situation to her and she got even more confused. Finally I just said I had stomach surgery.{not a lie, b/c I don't lie, the surgery was in 2010} She said there was no way I could do that. I asked why. She had to get her manager over to tell me it's not possible. So screw it, I ordered the pasta any way with a side of fried clams. I asked to just get those instead of a salad, would it be a problem. Yes, matter of fact it would be, because the salad came with it, and that's what I HAD to get. B.S. I ordered my clams and my kids food. The more I sat there and stewed the madder I got. I didn't let my kids see I was really pissed off. Not that they "couldn't" change it, but that they wouldn't. I even had asked if I could order off the kids menu. Nope again. That's total horseshit too, b/c I do it all the time. So finally I tracked down our waitress and told her to cancel the pasta. She told me I'd probably have to pay for it anyway b/c the order had been put in and was about to come out. I told her that I didn't want it. It was a very confusing situation for me. I know the restaurant has rules and such, it's a business, I get it. The flat refusal to even try is what got me. My kids order got screwed up too. Needless to say I ate cold fried clams and my oldest ate chicken when he ordered shrimp. I'd had a bad experience in there back in Aug. too, but I'll give most places the benefit of doubt. So nope! No more Red Monster in Southaven for us!
I saw my wonderful psychiatrist this past week. She knew that there was the posiblity of me having gp because I told her in my last visit. I also signed a release so that she and my gastro Dr. could swap notes if they need to. I took the medication information from Canada for her to read. I'm bipolar as I've said before. My meds have me pretty regulated, but a pill don't fix all the crazy. I take my meds every single day whether manic or depressed. Currently I take Lamictal and Seroquel. Seroquel XR is a wonder drug for me. For the first time in years I feel pretty normal, even though right now I'm slightly hypo manic. Right now I'm tripping about the gp because all I can imagine is my kids standing over my bed because I've wasted away to nothing and they're saying goodbye. I know we all have our times up,and I'm confident I will be in heaven, but I'm in no hurry. Anyway, she read over the info and told me that it's fine for me to take. I asked was she sure that it's ok because it's from Canada. Sure she told me. I'm very up front with my Dr.'s ALL of them. I don't want anything to cancel each other out. I take Nexium and tums for my gastro stuff. I take my bipolar meds, and I also take a blood pressure medication too. After my Dad died my bp went through the roof along with my weight. I'm tapering off that right now.
I went to Barnes and Noble because my shrink recommended a book called ,Goddesses in Every Woman.
So I decided to look for books on gp while I was there. There was not one just abut it. I looked in some diabetes books and there were slight mentions of it. The brief info there was enough to scare the crap out of even the most clogged up folks. I picked up Doctors Guide to Gastrointestinal Health. There were a scant 3 1/2 pages of scary useless information. This morning I pulled up Amazon and there were a few on the site. I'm not sure which one I'll order. I think I've googled myself into a tizzy. Maybe I'll write a best seller on gastrointestinal nightmares! I've had some sort of issue my whole life. As a kid I could puke pretty much on demand. I went home from several slumber parties because I'd get scared about being away from home. I'd hurl and my parents had to come get me at midnight.
I managed to big grocery shop without having an anxiety attack! I don't make out a monthly or weekly menu as some of my friends do. I probably should since my appetite is nil. I cook whatever I'm hankering for or the weather dictates. Pinto beans and cornbread in the fall and tomato sandwiches in July, that sort of thing. I could probably not grocery shop for at least a month or more except for milk and bread. Guess you could call me a grocery hoarder. I like a variety of options. I wasn't overwhelmed this time because of boo hoo, I can't eat that anymore. I'm coping better that way.
I'm learning my "trigger" foods. Let's start with Thursday night. We grilled out hot dogs, burgers,and brats. I ate a hot dog with no bun, ruffles, rotel, & a piece of chocolate pie. I kept telling Josh {husband} to make me stop. He has no sympathy with me when it's something even he knows will mess me up. He told me nobody was holding me down. It was just so dern good. I had to take phenegran in order to sleep. {My bed is propped up b/c of the gerd}.Friday was a field trip to the zoo. I ate a few fruit snacks and a bit of a pbj b/c I was hungry and that's what we'd packed to take. It got very heavy after just a bit. I got pizza for supper. I managed 2 slices in about an hr. Okay there. Saturday my stomach was giving me fits and I had no real appetite. Ran to town for a few things and got my favorite chicken salad from this great hometown grocery store. It's a very simple recipe,but I can never get it just right. It's chicken, grapes,mayo,pecans,and a few other ingredients. I got to feeling car sick so I took a phenegran just before we left town. I live in the boonies near the Ms. river. Get home, eat some chicken salad on a fresh piece of Wonder bread. Then I got sick! I tried my best to hurl, but I couldn't. I even thought about stuff that icks me out to help it out. Nope! There that salad sat, like a brick in the back of my throat to my intestines. I had to take more phenegran. I spent yesterday on the couch. I had every intention of going to church with the kids, but I just couldn't go. I really hope God understands that my intentions were good. I cooked a pork roast and made banana pudding yesterday. I ate a few nibbles of the roast. It was really juicy and I only ate a few bites every couple of hours or so, so it didn't get stuck. Banana pudding on the other hand I could have snarfed the entire big bowl of it. It seems like sweets are easier to digest. If that's not the case, then it taste better. I also drank my slimfast and took my vitamin.
I'm learning how to cope better, I guess. Right now I'm doing trial and error on eating. Lesson learned on food : I can't eat Naifeh's chicken salad anymore, I can't eat rotel dip except a little bit, I can still eat pizza very slowly,and I can inhale banana pudding.
I gave this to God. Like really truly gave it to Him. It's not at the forefront of all my thoughts anymore and I'm not as anxious as I was.
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